February 2012
marththebland:
I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger
me: I should go shower now
(five minutes later)
(another five minutes later)
(yet another five minutes later)
(more five minute intervals)
someone: (goes into the bathroom)
me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower
Normal people: Aw, look at the couple. They're so cute!
Me: I wonder if they've fucked yet.
Walking with Friends
Expectations:
Reality:
Need a laugh? Click here!
When your parents tell you that you’re too fat…but...
This is no joke, it really happened in my first...
My EMR instructor: You arrive at a scene with a patient laying on the ground. You check their level of alertness and they appear unconscious. You have already opened their airway with an adjunct and are administering oxygen.
What do you do next?
Student: Call 911!
My EMR Instructor: YOU ARE 911.
Not being able to communicate with your own...
1 tag
Being unable to speak the dialect everyone else in...
When you meet people & the first thing they do is...
2 tags
